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Owolabi OGUNLANA's avatar

Tochi,

You write so beautifully, it's flowery.

These thoughts of yours speaks to me too much, feels like I'm being psychoanalyzed.

I've grappled with some of these thoughts, being an introvert, a loner and one of my friends even call me a sigma male.

- In my in-between-ness, I find refuge in none living things, books, music, art or generally try to do nothing, absolutely nothing but pay attention to my breath.

- For the most crucial seasons of my life, I just do. One of your mails said something about, "Answers aren't always necessary for consistency: do the work, burn the candle, hold the dream, honour your convictions", that's what I do without dwelling too much on what the results might be.

- Ways I share myself with the world: service and writing.

- Language of service, it's always in the little things for me. Language of intimacy is also acts of service, I am held bound by the fact that people think of you and do things for you without asking cos that's what I do without expectations.

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Tochi Eze's avatar

I so love the idea of doing nothing, even though sometimes the fact of it can feel very socially isolating. I was in a conversation with a new acquaintance recently talking about how the fact of spacing out and letting my thoughts float about is in itself an event, but it somehow seemed like I was idling about. So yes, being wired a certain way can make us lonelier than the world always conditions us to be, but being authentically ourselves is also a way to learn and serve and the world. it's a kind of strange and circular logic but what I mean to say is: keep being the best version of yourself. I love what you say about the language of intimacy being acts of service. Wow, never thought of it like that: giving as a way of being with - a way of growing close to the thing being served, a way of inhabiting other realities. So profound, I will be thinking about that for a while.

As usual, I am always so happy to read from you.

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